Sleepless Nights

You ever go through weeks where you wake up for hours at a time for no reason at all?

I do.

Then I end up a sobbing mess, irrational and irritable. It's a nasty cycle and after I sleep I look back and laugh because I know I was irrational and irritable.

I love emotions... and sarcasm.

A Week of Milestones

Ok, so most events this week aren't technically milestone worthy. Quite the contrary actually... They're just ordinary events; however, they are huge steps in my current journey.

1. I turned 23.
You would think that the optimist in me would look forward to and thoroughly enjoy such an event. I often dread my birthday. It's right after Christmas and most times just blends into the hub-bub of the season's events. Not that that's a bad thing... life isn't about me after all. But this year I was particularly dreading it. The majority of my close friends and family do not live in the area. Quality time is one of my top love languages. You do the math.
However, for whatever reason... probably just to teach me a lesson about my pessimistic attitude, the Lord blessed me above and beyond my imagination. Go figure. He has a tendency to do that. :) Lots of phone calls, surprise gifts, and even flowers from a dear friend. I had prayed for flowers... why? They're just pretty. It was just one of those things... and the Lord used my friend to send me flowers. I cried...

2. I went to a church event by myself.
I'm a baby. I like people and I strongly dislike going to things like this alone. However, I had several friends asking me about it. I had to. And I met a new friend and made an acquaintance a friend. THEN.... here's the big one... I committed to being a member at the church. And I stood in front of the entire congregation.
This is a huge deal. Why? I have this disease... it's called Cherry Red Face. It's what happens whenever I stand in front of lots of people. Even people I like. And the more I feel my face redden, the redder I turn. It's a vicious cycle and I just wish someone would throw baby powder in my face to counteract the situation. Alas, I made it. I did it.

I conquered two fears this week. I'm on my way to community. Fist pumps and leg kicks for that. Fo sho.

Bringin in the New Year

What a New Year. For the past oh... 10 years or so, I've spent New Years in Kansas City with some of the loveliest people I know.

The Lovelies :) I'm not quite sure this is actually from a New Year's Party

.

Life changes so quickly. I always have plans and the Lord always reminds me that I am here to glorify Him--to love Him and His people. I am so reminded of that this New Year's. It is with different people, but I still had a grand time. I was reminded that He is good. He is loving. He has great plans for us. He provides in the past and will continue to do so, even when it doesn't look like what I want it to look like.

I found this quote in a blog that I often read:
"I only know that God is with us, and it’s never what we think, and that things will fall apart, and that even then, especially then, it’s ok."

It's always okay because He is always there. Thank you Jesus.

Soon I'll post resolutions. I've been thinking about them quite a bit. :)